Tales from the Trails of a Rock ’n’ Roll Bus Driver Read online

  The road is my office. Unlike ordinary, fluorescent lit offices, the scenery outside my office window changes daily. The commotion outside my door is never the same. I’ve witnessed and experienced some one-of-a-kind scenarios; things you probably imagine, and some things you can’t imagine, when you think of someone working in live entertainment. I’ll let you be the judge as you read a handful of some of my favorite tales from the trails. I haven’t seen it all, that’s for sure.

  A Crowded Mentality

  But before I delve into some Rock ’n’ Roll stories, I want to offer a glimpse into the nuts and bolts of my industry, all from my perspective, of course. First, I need to note that I never cared for the custom coaches I drive to be referred to as a “bus.” It’s like comparing night and day. Buses, like the Greyhound ones you see traveling along the highway, are completely different. I drive custom coaches, vehicles that cost more than half of a million dollars to build. Land yachts, if you will, complete with satellite TVs and upholstered couches to relax on while watching your favorite sport or show as we travel around North America. Bus is too simple a term for these rides, but that’s its common name, so be it. I tend to follow the crowd, so we’ll call the half a million-dollar ride a bus.

  The first rule of being a star is you have to look like one to pull it off. A clean shiny bus, one that glitters in the sun and glows in the dark, is a good start.

  Ask any entertainer. Ask any tour or production manager. Ask a tour accountant or band manager, and any one of those people will tell you that a tour bus and a driver are necessary evils. A good one is worthy to have around. Buses are the most cost effective way to transport and house traveling working people.

  An entertainment bus transports the life of a tour. It helps keep the energy and people behind the music safe and sound. The driver behind the wheel helps it roll so musicians can rock the crowds from city to city. The bus is where the tour starts and stops. The bus is home when you’re away from home. You eat, sleep and do everyday things on it. It’s where you rest, unwind, laugh, cry, be yourself – it’s a touring home, a land yacht moving from destination to destination, and the driver is the captain. It’s a big job, many drivers don’t make it more than a few years, but somebody has to do it.

  Drivers come in all different shapes, sizes and mental capacities. Some wear their emotions on their sleeves, others keep to themselves. Doing a good job is top priority no matter what, at least to the drivers who last a significant amount of time. My mindset is what I like to call a crowded mentality. I didn’t have the ideal upbringing and didn’t gain a traditional mindset from my parents like many kids I knew. I somehow managed to develop a strong work ethic from my parents and adopted basic moral values … you know, the all-American, do-good, neighborly type of stuff. As I entered adulthood, my frame of mind became shaped by the crowds around me, some good, some bad, it doesn’t matter now. Their influences and energy tapped into me and helped shape the person I am today. That energy still shapes and changes me every day, while I still try to keep my values steady and at my core. No matter how many lewd, crude and socially unacceptable things I have seen, smelled, heard and tasted, I try to be an informed, caring citizen, father and friend.

  Many drivers have nicknames like Gator, Turbo, Spider, English, Hollywood, Heavy Duty, Shaggy, Casper, Mickey Moe the Social Director and the list goes on. They come from all over the country and world with different upbringings, values, educations and personalities. Those who are good at it desire to be the best, or at least better than the other driver. There’s always a competition among drivers. It’s common for drivers to be assigned to work on a tour together. We typically work well as a team, but there always seems to be an element of bumping chests and “I’m better at this than you are” attitude. Less than a 100 men and women over the years have made it a long-term career choice. Many try it for a few years and move on to something else. Few stay around for 20 years or more. There are no retirement plans in this business. The hours can be long and the time away from home can devastate and rip apart a relationship or a family. Then there are the passengers. Their attitudes can be overbearing at times. Add the frustration of mechanical problems, red tape with management, daily issues of the “rules of the road” and any number of other matters thrown in, and the job can take its toll.

  I’ve been around it more than 25 years. I’ve met thousands of people of all races and beliefs along the way, even lived in close quarters with many of them for months at a time. It’s an interesting thing to meet and live with celebrities who share thought control over a portion of the masses.

  I’ve worked on more than 100 tours through the years. I won’t tell you I’m the best there is, but I know a few who will. Me, I do a good job at it, and it has kept me working. Bus driver personalities can go from one extreme to another and yet good ones — the professional ones, if there is such a thing — share a common knowledge: early is on time and on time is late.

  Personnel who work the daily grind of a tour, be it crew or talent, must be transported from city to city. Expense and logistics make it very hard to fly, although there are a few stars who use airplanes from time to time. Roadies, as tour employees are called, are all hard working technicians. I admire most of them and taking good care of them has always been a priority for me. Eighteen to 20-hour workdays for roadies are not uncommon. The least I can do is give them a comfortable ride for the few hours they get to sleep.

  In the entertainment touring business, everything works in a military type fashion. Can you imagine the organization it takes to move the stage and production equipment to mid-field for the Super Bowl halftime show, do a short set and get it off the field in time for the second half? That happens every day in a different town in the touring business. With a chain of command, there are generals, captains, sergeants and privates. It’s just like a military operation. Although, a lot more hair is involved.

  A large tour with shows in arenas, stadiums and amphitheaters has, just like any corporation, many departments of men and women. It’s like a 24-hour factory. You have the rigging department, lighting department, sound, security, personnel, and transportation of equipment departments, among others. I work in the personnel relocation department. That’s what bus drivers do: relocate people to the next destination.

  When an entertainment group plans a tour, coaches are secured with drivers from one or several of the coach companies providing coach-leasing services. Most coaches are chosen based on the tour budget and the amount of people who have to be transported. Generally, the newer the coach, the more expensive the coach, which also means higher wages for the driver. Groups may request a certain driver if schedules work for both parties, but that is never guaranteed. When the touring season is in full swing, a specific driver is not always an option for the group if they have not taken care of coach leasing well ahead of when the tour is scheduled to start.

  Tour managers and production managers usually make the last call as to whether a driver is right for their particular tour. Of course the passengers riding in the coach, which may or may not be the coach that one of the managers is riding in, have the final say as to whether a particular driver makes them feel safe or if personalities conflict.

  As the “designated driver,” I get to see the world in a different way than most. It’s a crazy world and it’s even crazier when you travel with the circus. At a younger age, I participated in a lot of it – sex, drugs and Rock ’n’ Roll – just amazed by it all. Having survived my expeditions and now being an adult with bills, mortgage payments and family issues, I can still be a part of the party, just not the life of it. I can still find those happy moments that only this business could provide. Driving the bus is a front-row seat where I can see others and all the wild things that pass by. It’s a pretty amusing seat to have.

  I, and drivers like me, get to see human nature at its best … and sometimes at its worst. Strange behavior has played out right before my eyes by the entertainers themselves, the
behind-the-scenes crews, and of course, the fans. Fans can and will do just about anything to get attention from their favorite entertainers, and I’ve seen some very obnoxious things, from careless driving to flashing boobs (and other body parts). Well, that’s not all bad, but it can be distracting, and distractions can slow down the operation, something you don’t want in show business.

  Following the show-must-go-on mission, being on time is number one. A day or night’s work is an endless competition against the clock, which can be just as exhausting as running a marathon. Many days average 12- to 24-hour work shifts, and it can be a mental nightmare. It’s an awesome way to live and work if you can understand it. The joy comes in working with people you admire and entertaining the masses.

  Working with people in an atmosphere of mutual respect and support is what keeps me coming back. I haven’t found such an atmosphere in any other line of work I’ve experienced. No one gives up, and no one is trying to stab a co-worker in the back just to get that quarter-an-hour raise. Everyone works as a team to get the show up and running and putting it back into the truck for tomorrow. I wouldn’t consider working in any other atmosphere. Being part of a touring crew that clicks and does it every day no matter the conditions is where I have found many days of satisfying work.

  It’s not all work. After all, you have to eat. Sometimes there is time for play. And when you’re on the road, you tend to gravitate toward others working just like you. We work odd hours, run into strange scenes – some good, some bad. It’s only natural to share “war” stories with fellow roadies. Barney’s Beanery in Hollywood is a good place to do just that.

  When in the celebrity-infused city, many roadies hit Barney’s just to see who they might run into. The who’s who of roadies can be found there on any given day or night. Many roadies live in the L.A. area and many more stay in the Hollywood area when their respective groups are performing nearby. Barney’s is just down the hill from high-dollar hotels on Sunset Boulevard, where travel agents put their touring roadies and smaller up-and-coming bands. It’s an easy walk down the hill on La Cienega Boulevard to Santa Monica where Barney’s is located. It’s a very bad trip back up the hill when you’re drunk and full of a Barney’s burger.

  Speaking of food, it can be an adventure to find sustenance on the road. Many times on long rides, passengers have to be fed. Usually a chain restaurant is the most convenient to feed a bus full of people. When I travel with an empty coach, I can put a little more thought into feeding my hunger. Denton’s Trotline, just off I-30 in my hometown, feeds my catfish cravings. Like Denton’s, local eateries can be found and become regular dining stops along the road. For me, an important factor is easy access from the interstates and routes I’m traveling. Real Italian food can be found at many locations in the Northeast. Just about any “mom and pop” Mexican restaurant in Arizona or New Mexico can fulfill cravings for spicy and savory. Get sushi when in San Francisco’s Japan town. L.A. has a few good sushi places, too. Clam chowder in Boston and lobster in Portland, Maine shouldn’t be missed. Pork chops with white beans and red cabbage in Iowa is the best around. Barbecue in Memphis is like no other anywhere in the country. There’s great food everywhere in this country, and finding it is one accident I am always glad to encounter.

  A Little History, Nuts and Bolts

  I, and others in the entertainment touring industry, wouldn’t be enjoying the efficient, comfortable touring ways of today if it weren’t for our pioneers.

  By driving some of the older eccentric entertainers, entourages and old roadies, I have learned plenty about the touring history. The touring standards have changed and improved much over the years. The mentality of the people who entertain and work behind the scenes seems to remain the same, however: hard work and “balls to the walls” party till you pee-uuke self-indulgence.

  I’ve driven folks who worked for musicians of the 1960s like Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and The Band, with tales of partying on trains as they road cross-country from coast to coast before buses were the norm. In the ’60s, those bands only played the big cities on the train routes and only transported band gear and luggage. Many of the gospel groups traveling the back roads of the U.S. traveled in very large automobiles pulling trailers and with luggage tied to the roof of the vehicles.

  As modern entertainment expanded throughout America, buses became more and more a part of the equation. The tour bus industry in the late ’40s and ’50s didn’t have the luxury liners or land yachts of today. Instead they were seated buses with a few seats removed here and there for room. Curtains hung from the ceilings to give the feeling of some privacy, but there were no bunks, beds, couches or TVs.

  Gospel groups were using buses long before the Rock ’n’ Roll touring world came to be. Country acts started catching on in the ’40s and ’50s, but coaches back then were basically used Greyhound and Trailways line-haul buses. First-class amenities were not really an option. According to rumor, plumbing and piping in the “old days” were taken out of the old Greyhounds and the shit would literally hit the ground.

  It’s hard to establish who came up with the idea of making a bus into a comfortable home away from home and renting it to an entertainer. J.D. Sumner has been listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the World’s Lowest Bass Singer. J.D.’s many other contributions mentioned in the record book include the introduction of the tour bus to the music industry in 1955. Lots of folks point their fingers at Milo Ligett of Nashville, Tennessee, who put beds into his gospel group’s bus. Norm Basden in Besemer, Alabama did the same with his group’s bus, and The Thrasher Brothers Gospel Group was doing the same with their buses. I’m not sure who exactly did it first, but I sure am grateful for them.

  In modern day, the coach leasing business is unique in that several entities all depend on the other to function profitably and properly. Each entity has to interact to keep everything moving along. The drivers are the glue and sweat equity that make it all work. The driver represents himself, his company/owner, the builder and the maintenance crew that maintains it. The driver, who many times is the only person seen by the customer, presents the culmination of all the entities to the people leasing the coach.

  There are the coach owners who own the coaches and lease them, running small fleets of one to 20 buses, to the large corporations whose fleets have 50 or more coaches available for lease. In some ways, it’s much like the trucking business, where there are fleet owners and owner operators servicing company accounts. In many other ways, it’s completely different. There are less than 1,000 coaches for lease in North America with more than 50 coach leasing companies competing for the business. The business is seasonal with most coaches leased April through November. The competition is tough. Every coach owner will tell you that their coaches are the best on the road. I got my start in the business in the ’80s, the same time the live entertainment touring business really rocketed. Having driven more than 35-plus different coaches over the years, I have my own opinions about who builds and maintains the best.

  Senators Coaches and Hemphill Brothers Coaches, a couple of the largest companies providing leasing services, evolved from touring gospel families. As children, the Hemphill brothers rode on tour buses with their touring gospel family. When the brothers grew up and started leasing buses, the operation grew to be second to none with one of the most modern fleets in the industry serving many Nashville acts as well as international entertainers. Their facility where they build their coach interiors is full of skilled, dedicated craftsmen. Just about every bus seen at a political rally is provided by Hemphill Brothers. They have even provided coaches for the President.

  Leon Frazier was performing with “The Senators,” a gospel group that had a customized Eagle bus when it caught the eye of someone in the Rock ’n’ Roll business. The Model 05 coach turned everyone’s heads with its mauve and silver exterior. One day in a suburb of Memphis, where the group had parked their bus, someone from the rock world approached Mr. Frazier about
leasing the gospel group’s ride to a Rock ’n’ Roll band when they weren’t using it. That was just the beginning of greater things. With that successful lease, Mr. Frazier started Senators Coaches and grew what has become a standard choice for many of the rock, pop and country acts. They were also able to acquire some of the best drivers in the business, who gave great attention to detail with their equipment. That only helped Senators earn more leases with the biggest entertainment groups.

  Some of the companies are strictly corporate-minded with so many rules that it can make it hard for a driver to give the customers the level of service they demand. Large coach companies only consider the numbers and the bottom line, and to them, coaches are numbers, and drivers have become meat in the seat.

  Other companies have colorful characters behind their operations. Naturally, some of those characters have musical leanings. The Calhoun brothers, Jack and Jerry, from central Florida are twins that few can tell apart if you don’t know them. One brother owns Florida Coach and the other owns Florida Custom Coach. They are legends in the bus business as far as I’m concerned, and in the ’80s, they had one of the most beautiful fleets. Everyone wanted to ride in them, and guys like me wanted to drive them. The artwork on the sides of their coaches, painted by an artist named Rainmaker, made them the envy of many. Willie Nelson gets his coaches from the brothers. Jack and Jerry recorded an album or two in the ’60s, and rumor has it that Willie had written a song or two for them. They perform at the Farm Aid concert, which consists of many musical acts, every year with Willie, who is one of the Farm Aid founders.